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Breaking Jersey News is a satirical website.  All content contained within it is entirely fictional.  Whilst some of the public figures may be real, all of the stories contained within the site fictitious.

 

Jersey Accident and Emergency department set to stage musicals

Jersey Accident and Emergency department set to stage musicals

As it is announced that the number of patients waiting in the Hospital's accident and emergency department for up to twelve hours has nearly tripled in the last three years, the Department for Health and Social Services has today announced plans to overhaul the St Helier waiting room and build a stage and changing areas, in order to showcase performances by the Jersey Amateur Dramatic Club.  Drunk patients, patients requiring emergency surgery, or those waiting to be referred to a mental health facility, can now look forward to forthcoming productions of Aladdin and Westside Story, with Miss Saigon scheduled to begin in April.

Coming soon

Coming soon

Jersey Amateur Dramatics Club creative director David Lombardo spoke of the news.  ‘‘It’s fantastic!  It really is!  It’s going to be a fabulous venue.  The support we have had from Andrew Green at the Health department has been extraordinary.  Such a sweetie’’

David appearing last year in a JADC adaptation of  Jesus Christ Superstar

David appearing last year in a JADC adaptation of Jesus Christ Superstar

As well as lifting the spirits of those awaiting treatment, Mr Lombardo also plans to go flyering in Parade Gardens in order to fill their matinees.  ‘‘Who’s to say we can’t rehabilitate some of society’s less fortunate members?  Hmmm?!  Who’s to say that a heroin dependency cannot be broken by Andrew Lloyd Webber and a strong female lead?.... ‘‘Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens!’’ - If Julie Andrews doesn’t inspire a few of them to throw down their teaspoons, then it’s hell in handcart for us all, dear!’’

 

 

 

High-street stalwart unrepentant over 'vulgar' window display

High-street stalwart unrepentant over 'vulgar' window display