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Breaking Jersey News is a satirical website.  All content contained within it is entirely fictional.  Whilst some of the public figures may be real, all of the stories contained within the site are fictitious.

 

Harry and Meghan to wed in Jersey!

Harry and Meghan to wed in Jersey!

Euphoric scenes across the island as Prince Harry confirms Jersey to be his and fiancé Meghan’s wedding location of choice

Which venue might they choose?

Which venue might they choose?

As the news broke this afternoon, bunting was quickly hoisted up onto the guttering of the Farmer’s Inn, all rank taxis operating out of St Helier announced they would be offering complimentary journeys for the rest of the weekend, and both Dunell’s and Victor Hugo advertised 5% savings on any purchase of six bottles of Laurent Perrier or more.

Breaking Jersey News spoke with Ms Markle this morning.  ‘Growing up in California,’ she explained, ‘it was always a dream of mine to one day get over to Jersey.  When you guys over here were listening to The Eagles, visualising yourselves winding your way along Route 66, me and my friends would speak only of L’etacq.  Of La Relais de Mielles….. immersing ourselves in Sergeant Pipon - dreaming of what it would really be like to one day see Green Island for ourselves...''  She chuckled.  ''I'm sure that Quennevais girls can't be as bad as all that!''

Whilst details of the pair's exact plans remain top secret at this stage, we can reveal that permission has been sought from Jersey Airport authorities to allow six Apache helicopter gunships from Harry’s former Army Air Corps to perform an intertwining corkscrew over the couple as they exchange vows; a proposition that has said to have enraged local ornithology groups, who claim that any hopes of successful chough breeding may be severely compromised by such ‘wreckless ostentation’.

Senior figures from Jersey’s honorary constabulary estimated today that the island would need to recruit an extra 11,000 volunteer police officers to adequately secure proceedings on the day itself.  Members of the public wishing to find out more are asked to contact PC Jim Taschcurl on: 612612.

Stay tuned onto Breaking Jersey News for the very latest on Harry and Meghan’s wedding plans.

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