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Disclaimer:

Breaking Jersey News is a satirical website.  All content contained within it is entirely fictional.  Whilst some of the public figures may be real, all of the stories contained within the site are fictitious.

 

Harry and Meghan: their secret Jersey marriage planning

Harry and Meghan: their secret Jersey marriage planning

Royal fever grips the island

There were whispers behind hands yesterday when those lucky enough to do so caught a glimpse of His Royal Highness Prince Harry, escorting his fiancé Ms Meghan Markle across the island to a series of secret meetings to discuss possible arrangements for their wedding in the summer of next year.

Ms Markle has been a long-time fan of the Bailiwick, after dreaming of traveling to L’Etacq as a child, and listening to Sgt. Pipon through her formative years.

The Queen is said privately to be furious that the ceremony will not be taking place at St George’s chapel at Windsor Castle as previously believed.  Ms Markle is reported to have ‘put her foot down’, according to palace insiders, claiming ‘‘I’m a big fan of Liz, don’t get me wrong.  But it’s our day, and I’m not going to be dictated to by my pretend mother-in-law’’

Despite the excitement steadily building around the island, Frank Drubbins, former Jersey harbourmaster of forty-eight years, was altogether more sober in his reflections.  ‘It’s all well and good,’ he said ‘those two: parading around in their polo shirts and deck shoes.  I watched them come in on the puddle-duck…. ride up the sand like they were auditioning for Miami Vice… no lifejackets.  No holding on.  Not paying attention…..  Water safety is not to be trifled with.’  ‘And they aren’t exactly keeping a low profile for two people that are trying to be operating in secret, no?’’  Mr Drubbins sighed.  ‘Well’ he said ‘I suppose it’s all about Facebook now, isn’t it? .... '‘selfies’'…..’’  ‘‘But I’ll tell you something!’’ he snapped ‘‘when we paralyse the second in line to the throne, cartwheeling him onto the rocks because no-one’s arsed about seatbelts, who’s going to be talking about bunting and street parties then?!’’

 

   
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    Ms Markle became a Beachability ambassador during her much-anticipated visit to Green Island

Ms Markle became a Beachability ambassador during her much-anticipated visit to Green Island

Prince Harry and Ms Markle are said yesterday to have met a select delegation from the east of Jersey, and one from the west, in a fact-finding rendezvous - covering the island and its highlights.  The meeting was described by Prince Harry’s private secretary, Sir Richard Farebrother, as ‘somewhat frustrating’.  Ms Markle was overheard claiming that in the two and a quarter hours they had met the two delegations, she and the prince had come away from the get-together knowing scarcely more than when they had arrived.

Service providers across the island remain on tenterhooks to see whether they might be in with a chance of getting involved on the big day.

Keep switched on to Breaking Jersey News for the very latest on the royal pair’s progressions.

 

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