IMG_6865.JPG

Hot stories.  Hot action.  Hot nonsense.  

Disclaimer:

Breaking Jersey News is a satirical website.  All content contained within it is entirely fictional.  Whilst some of the public figures may be real, all of the stories contained within the site are fictitious.

 

JIMF finale: Benetton F1 car in freak ‘breakfast cereal tyre-burnout tribute’

JIMF finale: Benetton F1 car in freak ‘breakfast cereal tyre-burnout tribute’

Crowds astounded as spectacular wheel-spin demo leaves the word ‘cocopops’ seared onto the tarmac  

The sixty thousand spectators cheering-on the tyre-burnout showpiece of the Jersey International Motoring Festival this evening were left dumbfounded and teary after Italian racing driver Enzo Duruminio do-nutted furiously up from the Grand Hotel, around the roundabout, then roared, spinning, up past Peoples’ Park: leaving in his wake, when the smoke finally cleared, the name of one of the most beloved breakfast cereals in the country, scorched onto the road surface in rubber.

‘It was a closing ceremony fit for a king!’ bellowed Trinity resident Prunella Smythe from the gin tent ‘They’ll be talking about this one for years to come’ she said ‘That’s for sure.  I’m just dashed sorry I missed it’

‘I’ve only heard about something like this happening once’ laughed event organiser Geoffrey Barking-Popham ‘The Red Arrows.  They flashed past us up at Sandringham.  All ten of them.  Whallop!!!   All of a sudden!’ he laughed ‘there it was!’  ‘‘Flagellate’’.   Up in the heavens.  The Queen didn’t know where to look’

'Flagellate' laughed Mr Barking-Popham

'Flagellate' laughed Mr Barking-Popham

RJA carnage as rogue thoroughbred obliterates summer fayre

RJA carnage as rogue thoroughbred obliterates summer fayre

14 children in custody after GDPR 'Happy Birthday' song violation

14 children in custody after GDPR 'Happy Birthday' song violation